The waiting game

My wife, Aires, reached many milestones in her life this year.

She finally got pregnant. She finally finished reading a novel. She finally YM-ed her friends. She finally realized that her husband (that’s me) really loves her. She finally learnt that God never forsakes. That He simply waits for the right time to give you the right wish for the right purpose.

Aires says that her life has been a life of waiting. Waiting for real friends --- when she was in grade school. Waiting for a head start after college. Waiting for a satisfactory career. Waiting for the right partner. Waiting for the chance to celebrate motherhood.

She would be the first to admit that patience is not her virtue. She does get cranky if she doesn’t get what she wants. But when she reflects on how she waited for the finer things in life, she realizes that she is indeed patient.

Today, she still gets cranky but she has finally learnt to count her blessings, the small triumphs, the inconspicuous milestones. She is preparing herself for the milestones that Heaven Czar, our first born-to-be, will achieve. In the meantime, the waiting continues.

Aires

isang palaisipan
marahil
bulong ng hangin
sa kislot ng ulap
sambit ang dalangin
takot kilalanin
kahit ngayon
kipkipin

isang bugtong
pasakalye
litanya ng ale
sa takda ng orasyon
sambit ang dalangin
tiwalang didinggin
kahit bukas
manimdim

palaisipan
bugtong
takot
tiwala
ngayon
bukas
lagi kang
mamahalin

My heart

Once I drew a heart
With a pastel chalk
A perfect shade of red
With gentle contours.

But the color didn’t last.
The heart faded away.

Then I drew another heart
With a child’s crayon
A pointed tip of red
With bolder strokes.

But the crayon broke.
The heart looked empty.

Then I drew the last of hearts
With my own blood
What a mess I made
With crimson drips.

The bleeding didn’t stop.
The heart was wounded.

But at last, now, I have my heart.

Heaven on earth

From head to toe, Heaven is doing well.

Aires and I are amazed at the images we are seeing. The sonologist probes and probes, finding the best view to check if our baby is doing well. The procedure is called congenital anomaly scanning, done through trans-abdominal ultrasound. Such a scary term for such an amazing test!

The doctor walks us through the scan for almost an hour. He shows Heaven’s head and face. Heaven’s eyes are complete. So are his nose, lips, and ears. And he yawns! What a sight!

The doctor searches for Heaven’s hands. They are a bit hidden. The right hand is touching his right ear. We count his fingers with anxiety and excitement. He has five fingers in both hands!

A few adjustments here and there and we see his pulsating heart. No heart hole, check! We see his diaphragm. His lungs are forming. We see a gastric bubble, what is to become his stomach. We also see his kidneys.

The doctor measures his leg bones, the femur. The length of this bone, plus the size of his head and torso will estimate his gestational weight. He is now almost half a kilo.

The doctor moves the probe and searches for Heaven’s weenie. We see it and the doctor freezes the image and keys in the letters B-O-Y. There’s no mistaking now. Heaven Czar is indeed a boy.

We see his feet and count again. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 toes. Complete, check!

The Doppler test follows next. This test measures blood flow to the brain, heart and kidney. Everything is okay. Heaven is getting all the nutrients he needs. His development is within the range expected for his gestational age of 24 weeks or six months.

After the uncertainty in the first three months of the pregnancy, seeing Heaven through this ultrasound keeps our hopes up high. Our Heaven indeed is here on earth.