Happy for Skye

It was raining when we laid our daughter Skye Czarina to rest yesterday. We wore white and had white and pink balloons. My wife Aires and I spoke of our difficult journey but nothing could compare with what Skye herself felt all 163 days of her life.

But many people also asked how Skye's big brother, Kuya Heaven, our four-year old son, was coping.

Heaven nearly threw a big tantrum at Skye's funeral. He was fidgety and asked to be taken back to the car. At first, I thought he was feeling uneasy, seeing Skye for the last time. I thought it was a ruse to escape it all.

To avert a complete meltdown, I took him back to the car and made a deal --- a new toy for his good behavior. He relented a few minutes later. In those few minutes, I managed to ask our son if the reason he wants to stay in the car is because he does not want to say goodbye to Skye.

He said: "No. I want to stay in the car because it is dry here. Out there, it is wet and messy."

"But what about Skye? Aren't you feeling sad?"

And Heaven said: "Tatay, I'm happy for Skye."

True enough, for the rest of that gloomy morning, Heaven did not cry. He looked at Skye one last time and asked: "Why is Skye frozen?" People crowded around the hole and Heaven hollered: "Excuse me, I want to see Skye." When the hole was finally covered, Heaven gamely sang Skye a "Rock-a-by" lullaby.

It rained. It was wet. It was sad. But if Heaven could, in all innocence, say that he is happy for Skye, I should also feel the same.

Goodbye, Skye!

Today to rest we lay you

Where the sky roofs the ground

Where hundreds more find their peace

With grasses and acacia trees

You will find it dark beneath

But above is yours to keep

Your flesh on earth remains

Your soul in finite time will live

You will hear us cry

You will hear our prayers

You will know why

You we love and care

Today an end begins

But hope anew springs

Goodbye’s but another way to say

My child, see you soon someday

Won't give up on us

It was unanimous.

When Aires and I were planning to do a slideshow in honor of our dear Skye Czarina, we chose Jason Mraz' song, "Won't Give Up".

"I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
Still looking up, still looking up."

Many of our friends and loved-ones say they are touched and inspired by Skye and by how our family coped with Skye's condition. It gives us immense satisfaction that we are able to reach out to others. If after reading about Skye, you look at your child with much profound love then Skye has truly served her purpose in life.

Aires and I had so many talks about what God has planned for us when He gave Skye to us. We knew there were many lessons to learn. I guess just like in Jason Mraz' song: "We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in."

Aires and I had to learn what we've got, what we're not and who we are.

Goodbye, Skye, Goodbye

Dearest Skye,

In a blink, you were gone. I was just an arm’s length away and you went without making any fuss. You did not make my heart go wild. You did not make my knees go weak. When I woke up, your goodbye had gone by.

I am awed how you planned your exit. You waited till I came back from a land far away. And for this I am forever grateful. You gave me the chance to spend another night with you. You gave me the chance to cradle you in my arms one last time.

What an obedient child you were. I whispered to you that it was all right to let go. And you did. You had to let go.

But I can’t. I will never ever let go of your spirit. You will be here forever with Nanay, Kuya Heaven and me.

You may have gone. But what you left behind will stay with us until our own goodbyes.

Love, Tatay