Heaven's worst week ever

It's happening.

The defiance. The excuses. The tug-o-war.

I have been at home with our seven year old son, Heaven, for the past week. He had a fever a week before last and missed his quarterly exams. I had to stay with him as he took his make-up tests.

We found ourselves at odds with each other on several occasions. In exasperation Heaven cried: "This is the worst week ever."

"And why is that?"

"Because all you did was order me around," he reasoned. And in mockery, he mimicked me: "Heaven, do this! Heaven, do that! Heaven, wash your hands! Heaven, eat your food! Heaven, go to sleep!"

Of course, that remark floored me. In retaliation, I "ordered" him to write down all the things that made his week the worst one ever. Here is what he wrote....

"No. 1. Tatay didn't check his viber on sportsfest. Bad thing it was supposed (sic) to be our Christmas party! Now I had to dress up agan (sic). Then I didn't get to eat my breakfast!!! No. 2 I was watching tv then sudenly (sic) I acsidenty (sic) turned it off then I got angry I pulled my hair I had to wait for another 20 minutes I guess. No. 3. I was about to write on my scrath (sic) note then I saw a drawing of earth. It was my last page and I knew who did it. It was my Ate! I was so upset I did not even eat brekfast! (sic)."

On another page, I "ordered" him to write down all the things made him happy during the week. Here is what he wrote....

"No. 1. I was happy that I got to finish my homework before flag cerany (sic). No. 2 I was happy that my cough was a little gone. No. 3 I was happy that Nanay Aires did not forbiden (sic) me to watch "Star Wars, the Force Awakens: Episode IVV (sic). No. 4  I was happ (sic) that I could see my old classmates and I could have some fun with them. No. 5 I am very happy because I will get to be with or having bonding with my parents that I will watch Star Wars with them at Makinton (sic) or maybe somewhere else I guess."

After doing this, I asked him: "What did you learn after doing this?" He said: "To control my emotions?"

I rest my case.