Stare, gawk, ogle

Stare. Gawk. Ogle.

That’s all Aires and I do when Heaven Czar is sleeping. He’s asleep 22 hours a day. Now that’s a lot of staring, gawking, and ogling.

My wife and I just could not believe that our son is finally here with us. Only a few weeks ago, we were near the end of our limits when we suffered pitfall after pitfall. Aires’ blood was clotting again. Her natural killer cells were hyperactive again. Her placenta was aging fast. The baby could be born earlier than planned.

No matter how hard we tried to prepare for his coming, Heaven Czar came like a thief in the night, like the gentleman caller whom the maidens waited for, like the falling star in a sea of crystals. Technically, he still should be inside his mother’s womb today. But Heaven could not wait any longer.

We could not wait either for his baby milestones. I gawk at him for a long time, hoping that I could catch the very moment he fixes his stare back at me. I am still a blurry image to him today. But I am counting the days till he is able to see faces more clearly.

What do we see when we stare, gawk, ogle at Heaven? We see his pointed nose. We see his chiseled chin. We see his rosy cheeks. We see his pronounced forehead. We see his long eyelashes. And the ears, what big ones he has! We see a great looking infant.

I don’t care if people say that parents simply see the best in their babies. Isn’t that what all parents should be able to see? See the best in their children. At birth, we see the best in their infant features. We see their best moves as they grow older. We see their best traits as they begin school. We see what they really are best at when they reach puberty. We believe in their strengths and acknowledge their weaknesses.

But that’s still years away for our dear Heaven. For now, let me be content in staring, gawking, ogling at our little miracle. Indeed, seeing is believing.