The miracle of breast milk

My son, Heaven, would have been formula-fed. I was. I prepared my younger siblings' milk when they were babies. Most of my nephews and nieces were bottle-fed. And TV ads said infant formula make a baby a "gifted child".

But thanks to UNICEF, I learned a lot of stuff about breastfeeding. When I worked for UNICEF, I found myself talking to pregnant women in grocery cashier stalls, markets and malls, urging them to consider breastfeeding. I tried to convince friends and relatives to breastfeed their babies. My wife, Aires, cautioned me that I was sounding too pushy and know-it-all already.

That was when I really reflected on why most women chose bottle-feeding over breastfeeding. Ask a mom about breast milk and she most likely will tell you that it is best for babies. Yet, this knowledge does not translate to actual practice.

I once prepared communication materials for a breastfeeding campaign. We used the headline "The Magic of Breastfeeding." I thought it was brilliant but when I pre-tested the materials to a group of breastfeeding women, I was wrong.

Magic is about waving a wand and making something happen in a blink of an eye. Magic is about spreading dust powder over one's body and flying to Neverland. Magic is about spells and encantations.

Breastfeeding is not like that at all, said the women. A mother and her baby have to work really hard in unison to make breastfeeding happen. If that happens, it is not magic but a miracle.

I had my Eureka moment. I stopped using the "Every mother can" mantra of breastfeeding. I started listening and looking for cues from mothers themselves. Every woman has a unique story to tell. But they share common experiences.

Every mother wishes the best for their newborn. My job is to find the cue that will convince a mother to choose breastfeeding. It usually begins with finding her primary concern. This concern may be simple and menial to complex and clinical.

For my wife, Aires, it was about exposing herself to others. So, we found a way for her to breastfeed our son Heaven even in public places. Thanks to blankets, blouses and brassieres. Heaven was exclusively breastfed for seven months (he was a premature baby) and continued to be breastfed until age 3.

To most women, it was about not having enough milk. So, I started educating women in barangays about the newborn digestive system and comparing baby stomach sizes with calamansi, tomato and egg. On day 1, a newborn baby's stomach is as small as a calamansi. That is why about 1-3 spoons of breast milk is all the baby needs every feeding. That is why a few drops of breast milk is all that flows on the first day. And that is the miracle of breastfeeding.

This is the miracle that happened when our daughter Skye lived for five months. Born with Trisomy 18 condition, Skye was not expected to live even for a day. But she fought for five months and was nourished with the little milk that Aires could muster and the volumes of breast milk donated by kind strangers.

Aires and I saw how a mother's milk can save the life of another mother's child. Our passion to convince women to breastfeed finds another dimension.

But when a woman chooses still to formula feed her baby, I never use the card that reads: "If you love your child, you will breastfeed." She just needs to know that, in the end, it is still her decision that will prevail.

I am just glad that this woman is not my wife.