Smile

I went to work early. I was doing my morning office rituals (switch on computer, keep stuff tidy, check to-do list for the day) when Chris passed by my door and greeted me: "Good morning, Sir!"

Chris is a messenger for our fundraising unit. He is assigned to us by an external message service outfit. He is genial, always ready with a greeting and a smile.

As Chris vanished from view, I could not help but notice how unusually sunny his smile was.

Fastforward to the end of the day. I learnt that it was Chris' birthday. My colleagues from our fundraising team were waiting for Chris to return from his daily rounds to spring a birthday surprise.

On my way home, I bumped into Chris and greeted him a Happy Birthday. He smiled bashfully this time. I did not get to see how the surprise treat turned out.

But I hope that when Chris went to sleep, he would still have that smile on his face, knowing how important he is to us.

Ha-ha to take away Hu-hu

When Heaven laughs, I wish he never ends. His hearty ha-ha-ha takes away all of our hu-hu-hu.

On Sunday, Aires and I decided not to take Heaven with us when we run our Sunday errands. But over breakfast, Heaven was his usual sunny self, exploding into guffaws at the silliest antic. I pretended to be tickling Nanay and he just went berserk, laughing out loud to our delight.

Aires could not leave Heaven behind. “How could we leave him if he is having a ball playing with us?” But there were stuff to buy and we swore to hear Mass and visit my father for his birthday.
Heaven had been sick at the start of the year. He has been trying to recover from his bout with mild pneumonia and it would be unwise to tag him along with us.

But going out excites Heaven. He becomes pleasantly hyper the second he steps into the car. So Aires changed the plan and Heaven went with us to the Church and to the grocery store. We did not get to visit his Lolo who also decided that some malling would be perfect for the Sunday.

We went out for only a few hours. But it was time well spent as a family. We had lunch at Pho Hoa where Heaven had a field day munching on bits of crispy chicken lollipops. He also got his groove back dancing to Eastwood’s water fountain musical fare. He fell asleep as Nanay went through her grocery list at Shopwise.

There were a few grunts and rants along the way, especially when he would wrestle with Nanay during breastfeeding time at the back of the car. But overall, it was a happy trip. A day a Tatay like me hopes never ends.

Thanks to our happy Heaven, happy thoughts will tide me through manic Monday.

'La na!

‘La na!!!

That is Heaven’s first sentence ever. “Wala na!” (No more.)

Heaven finishes his glass of fresh milk or gulps a glass of water. ‘La na!

Heaven drops his ball. Ball rolls under the sofa. ‘La na!

Heaven bites into a cookie. Last bit falls on the floor. ‘La na!

Heaven puts matchbox car under a blanket. Tatay quickly grabs car and hides it from view. ‘La na!

Heaven plays peek-a-boo with Nanay. Nanay escapes to go to the grocery store. ‘La na!

‘La na! Gone. Vanished. Over. Left. But there’s no sadness in his ‘La na! He does not throw a tantrum when he can’t see his ball. He asks for more if he still wants to drink. He looks under the blanket if a toy suddenly disappears. He just cranes his neck, searching for Nanay. Just don’t let him catch Nanay sneeking away.

He still has no great expectations that things will magically re-appear. How I wish we can be like Heaven who doesn’t wallow in grief when he suffers a loss. When we lose something or someone, it takes time for us to get over our loss. We simply can’t shrug our shoulders and go on with our lives. When we lose something or someone, we ask why?

Heaven has not started asking why yet. Maybe that is why he is happy and can easily go on with what is next for the day.

‘La na, after all, to Heaven, is not the end of the world.

Be better

That’s what I will be this year.

A better husband. When Ondoy turned our lives upside down, I tried to be my family’s anchor, the one that Aires can rely on. There were times though when I almost gave up and could have fallen flat on my face.

A better father. When Heaven turned one year, we counted all our blessings. But I must be reminded always and listen to Aires’ words of wisdom. “Think of Heaven before you make any decision.”

A better son. When Mama got sickly this year, I was not there to play the role of the first born. I hope I can do a better job this year.

A better brother. When I got married, I vowed that my family would come first, all the time. But this should not stop me from caring for my brothers and sister. Sometimes, a “Hello. How are you?” will do.

A better friend. Drop a line. Say Thank You. Greet Happy Birthday.

A better worker. It has been 10 years since I started in UNICEF. I can still share more with UNICEF or other organizations.

A better person. When things went awry last year, I honestly did not know how I would survive. But I am still here. Scarred but still hopeful that I will look back at 2010 with better memories.

Sniff and snuffles for New Year

Heaven greeted the New Year coughing and grunting. On December 31, he had a fever that went on and off. On the third day, we were so worried that we rushed him to the hospital. The ER was filled with infants and children, sniffing, coughing, and wailing. Heaven was just too sick to throw a tantrum. But wail he did when he had a chest x-ray and when blood was extracted to run some tests. After three long hours, we just had to hear it from the doctor --- mild pneumonia.

We wanted to have Heaven confined but his other vital signs were okay. We were just advised to do home treatment. So we went home, checked Heaven’s temperature from time to time, and devised all means possible to trick Heaven into taking his sticky, bitter antibiotics meds. Not that Heaven was difficult when it comes to taking medicines. We’ve had no problem sticking medicine droppers into his mouth before.

And so that was how we spent the long vacation --- sleep-deprived and worried to the hilt. We took Heaven to his pedia twice this week. He has now recovered but still needs to catch up on his diet. He lost almost two kilograms after just five days of cough, colds, and fever.

Pneumonia in children may either be bacterial or viral. Heaven’s pedia suspects his is of the viral strain --- less severe but if unchecked may render the child susceptible to the bacterial form.

But we still wonder up to now --- how did Heaven get it? He had completed his vaccines and is still breastfed to this day. Was it at the Christmas parties we attended during the season? Was it from one of us? Was it because Heaven was everywhere, sticking his hands on God-knows-what surfaces?

However and wherever, we just reminded ourselves and Heaven’s nanny: as early as now, get Heaven in the habit of handwashing. After all as the kindergarten song goes: Clean little hands are good to see.

Home again

My family and I moved back to our home a few days before Christmas. Home is actually the Aunario’s house in Marikina. Mommy Lily and Daddy Cesar built this bungalow in 1978. After Daddy passed away in 2007, Aires and I moved in to be with Mommy.

To Aires, Heaven and me, this house is now our home. This is where Heaven came to be. We were planning to build our own nest somewhere else when Ondoy left us homeless. To others, this was a pretty good reason to move out. But Aires and I decided to renovate the house and save what’s left of its memories.

After three months of renovation, the house now looks more spacious. Heaven enjoys walking from one nook to another. His favourite spot is either the first step of the two-rung staircase (or what’s left of the former staircase) or a corner storage box. He also loves closing doors and opening cabinets. He hides behind the curtains and plays peek-a-boo with anyone who bothers. He, thankfully, has the wits and restraint not to pull stuff out of console tables.

Our threesome still sleeps in the living room because our bedroom is still full of stuff that needs a lot of organizing. But we vow to make it to our bedroom before January ends. We also plan to have a small landscaped garden in the front yard and a laundry area at the side porch. These small projects will keep us busy for a good part of the year.

Here’s hoping that there is no second coming for Ondoy this year and for the rest of our lives.