Rainbows

I had been planning to write a post-script to Ondoy, a year hence.

But I got buried, at work, under waves of photos of children being vaccinated against measles and the like. Ondoy seemed to have been flushed away from recent memory. But when Juan entered the Philippine's area of responsibility, and references to the Ondoy terror filled the morning news --- I could not help but remember what Ondoy was like.

Utter devastation.

But, indeed, there are rainbows after storms. Life remained a bit stormy a few months after Ondoy. But gray clouds had melted since then.

So allow me to send you this wish. May you have many rainbows after this storm.

Dinosaur dreams

I dreamt of dinosaurs the other night.

I woke up just before the T-rex devoured my left arm. I was scared like s__t. But I dozed off back to Jurassic Park, this time with all my limbs intact, having escaped miraculously from the T-rex.

The dream went on, with pteradactyls swooping above, as Aires, Heaven and I tried to stay alive, searching for a mysterious hide-out where we would be safe from giant reptiles.

We managed to reach the secret haven with other survivors. And then, it was time to really wake up.

Dream Moods Dictionary says that dinosaurs symbolize either an outdated attitude or old issues that keep coming back to haunt me, or the fear of being useless and no longer needed.

Old attitudes. Old issues. Uselessness. I can set all these aside. Because in my dream, I survived. I reached the secret haven.

It's just comforting to know that I would overcome whatever debacle this dinosaur is. Raargghhhh!!!

Another 48 hours

Weekends are precious. Two precious days with Heaven.

Ate Dada gets her time off. Tatay Nilo and Nanay Aires take turns and catch up.

Tatay Nilo gets to wake up at 5 am to have a very early breakfast with Heaven. Then off to Heaven's daily grind:

• "Sulat tayo." (Draw or doodle stuff on paper or blackboard.)


• "Basketball. Shoot!" or "Bowling. Strike!" or "Billiards. Tsuk!" (Play any ballgame he fancies.)


• "Tok. Tok. Drum." (Drop colored balls into colored holds of his colorful drum set.)


• "Ay hulog! Hulog!" (Build a tower out of blocks and watch it fall down.)


• "Elmo..." or "Coco the Cow." (Read any of his books.)


• "Nanay, dede!" (Of course, when it is time to be breastfed.)

Nanay Aires spirits off to bed for Heaven's morning nap. This is a struggle between Nanay and Heaven. It takes an hour before Heaven goes to lala-land, and only after -- "Nay, usap tayo." About his most recent escapade like ---

• "Wawa. Heaven. Sugat. Doctor." (His last vaccine shot.)


• "Wawa. Lola. Sugat. Doctor." (Seeing Lola after her dialysis treatment.)


• "Ate. Galit. Palo. Heaven. Ouch." (Some nasty girl who hit him with a ball at Gymboree.)


• "Monkey bar. Stretch. Weeee!" (How he conquered the dreaded monkey bar at Gymboree.)


• "Ara. Uwi. Iyak." (An older girl in the neighborhood admonished to go back home.)


• "Kuya. Galing. Dribble. Shoot." (An older boy in the neighborhood playing hoops at the barangay gymnasium.)


• "Ate. Galing. Ipis. Boo. Patay." (Ate Dada's triumph over a poor cockroach.)

Saturday afternoons are either playtime at Gymboree, chowtime at Momo's, partytime at Jollibee, or TV time with Ernie and Bert and Elmo and the Sesame Street gang. (Yes! We had permission from Heaven's pedia to introduce him to televised stories but still with parental guidance.)

It's not all rosy though. Tantrums happen here and there. And the "Is-this-my-son?" comes sputtering out. When he insists to go to the bedroom to wreak havoc. When mealtime is not yet his mealtime. When Nanay or Tatay hies off somewhere else and leaves him behind. When sleepyhead refuses to sleep.

Sunday, of course, is Alleluia time. You should hear Heaven's version of American Idol's favorite, Hallelujah. Listen to his whole repertoire:

• Row, row your boat....


• Twinkle, twinkle... diamond in the sky...


• Rain, rain go away, little Heaven wants to play...


• Bahay kubo, kahit munti...


• Sa Jollibee, bida ang saya....


• Baby-Baby-Baby-Ooooh!

Add to these his orchestra instruments: piano, xylophone, guitar, drum, tamborine...

Sunday is pretty much like Saturday. Throw in a dose of Q&A.

• What is your name? HEAVEN CZAR A. YACAT. (Stress on letter T.)


• How old are you? TWO. (Finally stopped saying 'One'.)


• What's your favorite color? BLUE. (And touches the color RED. No worries. He'll get that right soon.)


• What's the name of Tatay? NILO. (With a smile.)


• What's the name of Nanay? AIRES. (With a giggle.)


• Where will you go to school? ATENEO. (With conviction. Talk about toddler indoctrination.)

Weekends are indeed precious. And our Mondays are becoming difficult, really difficult.
"Sama. Heaven. Sama. Iwan. No way. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!" Another 48 hours have gone by.

'Noy

Noynoy!!!

He says the name with jubilance. He recognizes his face. He knows the iconic yellow ribbon. He flashes the Laban sign.

And he’s not even two years old.

Amidst the election frenzy, when we were learning about yellows, oranges, greens, ribbons, check marks, and shaded circles, Heaven was fast learning about his own environment.

A neighbour put up a Noynoy banner and Heaven sees this every single day when he goes out to play.

When we first heard Heaven chant, “Noynoy! Noynoy!”, we were pleasantly surprised at how quickly he picked up a name that his yaya taught him to say. Little did we realize that the name came with a face.

So when Heaven saw two Sundays ago photos of President-elect Benigno Cojuangco Aquino III splashed on the newspaper’s front page, he chanted once again, “Noynoy! Noynoy!”

Before Heaven turns 2, Noynoy will be sworn into office as the 15th leader of this republic. And P.Noy will be Heaven’s president during his crucial, formative years.

In the next six years, Heaven will learn most of the basic skills he will need to survive and be competitive. In the next six years, Heaven will have the building blocks of his personality. In the next six years, Heaven will show glimpses of what kind of a person he will be when he votes for the 18th President of the Republic of the Philippines (if Charter Change doesn’t happen).

As parents and as Filipinos, we hope that the next six years will be a time of great learning for Heaven and the rest of the 2 million babies born each year.

We hope that like Heaven, we can still say “Noynoy” with jubilance, six years hence.

Bumps and bubbles

"Ninong... Untog... Ouch.... Iyak... Huhuhu... Heaven...."

During breakfast today, I asked Heaven about the visit of his Ninong Archie yesterday. "What did you do? Did you play with Ninong?" After hearing the cue that was "Ninong", he launched into his "I'm-gonna-tell-on-you" mode and complained about the accidental butting of heads that occured when Ninong apparently tried to kiss Heaven hello.

That was exactly what he did a few weeks ago after the two of us spent playtime at Gymboree. When Nanay came, he said: "Ouch... Head..." and touched the sore part. I was flabbergasted because I swore he did not bump his head while he was under my care. Nanay, of course, was furious at me. I swore on my deathbed that he did not bump his head, except maybe when he accidentally slipped and fell on my feet. But he stood up as if nothing happened and, there he was, telling on me and making me look like a really lousy caretaker in the eyes of his Nanay.

Even Heaven's pediatrician was amazed at his vocabulary and communication skills.

Just before Heaven goes to sleep and as soon as he wakes up in the morning, Heaven rattles on with seemingly unrelated words: "borrow, Amen, sibuyas, bawang." It took us a few days before we realized that he was enumerating new entries in his speaking vocabulary.

His newest acquisition is "bubbles" -- referring to the bubble blower toy that we recently bought. What is equally amazing is his ability to relate the word with an image. We were checking out the Toys R'Us catalogue and he suddenly blurted out "bubbles" and pointed to the photo of a small bubble container--- exactly what we bought for him.

Come playtime with bubbles, Heaven goes non-stop. "Bubbles-bubbles-bubbles-bubbles." Chasing every bubble that he can pop within reach.

Heaven is sound asleep as I write this entry. He may actually be dreaming now of bubbles, headbutts, and bumps.

Indeed, it is fun to talk to Heaven. Just don't ask him what Tatay wants. Because Nanay taught him an answer that would have CBCP bishops froth bubbles in their mouths.

Change is good

It has been two weeks since I left UNICEF and moved to HealthPRO. The shift, although too abrupt as some said, has been seamless so far. The team is smaller but the task is as gigantic as a UN mandate.

But so far, so good. We’ve managed to get approval for a media campaign, posters and other stuff on safe motherhood, a flyer on taking an HIV test, and secured important files we need for a family planning campaign.

I am working on a strategic media engagement strategy, reviewing provincial communication plans, putting together a “how to” kit on events management, and revising a family planning campaign. I have also been asked to scout for other communication specialists to help us with our monstrous requirements.

My new officemates ask me daily on how well I am coping with the work. I could brag and say “Been there and done that.” But that is not a fair assessment of how complex health promotion and communication is.

I am just really thankful that I am in a happy place. And only for this, I thank Ondoy for playing the tipping point in my professional career.

Customer 1009

I will be a tax-paying Pinoy again.

For almost 10 years now, I have worked for the United Nations. Being a UN civil servant, I do not pay taxes nor enjoy social security services. (But we do have what we jokingly call "UN tax", a big portion of our salary that goes back to UN)

But, now that I am moving to a new post at an office that answers to Philippine employment laws and policies, I am trying to get acquainted anew with TINs and SSSs.

Getting a new SSS identification card is a sordid tale to tell. You see, I lost my old card and had to get a new one. I went to an SSS branch in Marikina. I waited for my turn for almost an hour and was told that I had to go to the main office on East Avenue, QC. I became customer 1009 at the main office and when I joined the queu, the prompter was calling out customers 700 to 704. I had to wait in line just to get verified if I am a member at all. And after waiting for almost two hours, I was sent away to their legal office to get an affidavit of loss. But lo and behold, I was told to present a community tax certificate or cedula. So drive I did back to Marikina City Hall for my cedula. Along the way, I dropped by your typical fly-by-night notary stalls and "was sworn into statement" that I lost my ID during Ondoy.

I had the smarts to check my luck at the SSS Marikina branch again. It was already 4 pm. I made it to the cashier's line and paid the fine for losing my card (or getting a new one). I submitted my documents again and was finally "verified" as indeed an SSS member. But I was told once again to go back to the main office to get "captured". Their term for getting a photo taken.

I went back to the main office the next day. I did not have to wait in line this time. My time at the main office was short but not sweet at all. I was told once again to come back some other time because photo capturing has a schedule and mine is still two weeks away.

I also tried my luck at the Bureau of Internal Revenue. I needed to get a new card for my tax identification number. I went to the main office in Quezon City. I got my reference number but was told to go to Makati where I originally filed my application. Dutifully, I went to Makati and waited for only 30 minutes to get an identification card.

This got me thinking. Why does it take forever to get an SSS card? And a jiffy for a TIN card? When I pay my SSS dues, I pay for my later use. When I pay my tax dues, I pay for everybody's use. I really don't mind paying but enduring again the long queus will take some getting-used-to.

And that's the price to pay for being a tax-paying Pinoy.

Smile

I went to work early. I was doing my morning office rituals (switch on computer, keep stuff tidy, check to-do list for the day) when Chris passed by my door and greeted me: "Good morning, Sir!"

Chris is a messenger for our fundraising unit. He is assigned to us by an external message service outfit. He is genial, always ready with a greeting and a smile.

As Chris vanished from view, I could not help but notice how unusually sunny his smile was.

Fastforward to the end of the day. I learnt that it was Chris' birthday. My colleagues from our fundraising team were waiting for Chris to return from his daily rounds to spring a birthday surprise.

On my way home, I bumped into Chris and greeted him a Happy Birthday. He smiled bashfully this time. I did not get to see how the surprise treat turned out.

But I hope that when Chris went to sleep, he would still have that smile on his face, knowing how important he is to us.

Ha-ha to take away Hu-hu

When Heaven laughs, I wish he never ends. His hearty ha-ha-ha takes away all of our hu-hu-hu.

On Sunday, Aires and I decided not to take Heaven with us when we run our Sunday errands. But over breakfast, Heaven was his usual sunny self, exploding into guffaws at the silliest antic. I pretended to be tickling Nanay and he just went berserk, laughing out loud to our delight.

Aires could not leave Heaven behind. “How could we leave him if he is having a ball playing with us?” But there were stuff to buy and we swore to hear Mass and visit my father for his birthday.
Heaven had been sick at the start of the year. He has been trying to recover from his bout with mild pneumonia and it would be unwise to tag him along with us.

But going out excites Heaven. He becomes pleasantly hyper the second he steps into the car. So Aires changed the plan and Heaven went with us to the Church and to the grocery store. We did not get to visit his Lolo who also decided that some malling would be perfect for the Sunday.

We went out for only a few hours. But it was time well spent as a family. We had lunch at Pho Hoa where Heaven had a field day munching on bits of crispy chicken lollipops. He also got his groove back dancing to Eastwood’s water fountain musical fare. He fell asleep as Nanay went through her grocery list at Shopwise.

There were a few grunts and rants along the way, especially when he would wrestle with Nanay during breastfeeding time at the back of the car. But overall, it was a happy trip. A day a Tatay like me hopes never ends.

Thanks to our happy Heaven, happy thoughts will tide me through manic Monday.

'La na!

‘La na!!!

That is Heaven’s first sentence ever. “Wala na!” (No more.)

Heaven finishes his glass of fresh milk or gulps a glass of water. ‘La na!

Heaven drops his ball. Ball rolls under the sofa. ‘La na!

Heaven bites into a cookie. Last bit falls on the floor. ‘La na!

Heaven puts matchbox car under a blanket. Tatay quickly grabs car and hides it from view. ‘La na!

Heaven plays peek-a-boo with Nanay. Nanay escapes to go to the grocery store. ‘La na!

‘La na! Gone. Vanished. Over. Left. But there’s no sadness in his ‘La na! He does not throw a tantrum when he can’t see his ball. He asks for more if he still wants to drink. He looks under the blanket if a toy suddenly disappears. He just cranes his neck, searching for Nanay. Just don’t let him catch Nanay sneeking away.

He still has no great expectations that things will magically re-appear. How I wish we can be like Heaven who doesn’t wallow in grief when he suffers a loss. When we lose something or someone, it takes time for us to get over our loss. We simply can’t shrug our shoulders and go on with our lives. When we lose something or someone, we ask why?

Heaven has not started asking why yet. Maybe that is why he is happy and can easily go on with what is next for the day.

‘La na, after all, to Heaven, is not the end of the world.

Be better

That’s what I will be this year.

A better husband. When Ondoy turned our lives upside down, I tried to be my family’s anchor, the one that Aires can rely on. There were times though when I almost gave up and could have fallen flat on my face.

A better father. When Heaven turned one year, we counted all our blessings. But I must be reminded always and listen to Aires’ words of wisdom. “Think of Heaven before you make any decision.”

A better son. When Mama got sickly this year, I was not there to play the role of the first born. I hope I can do a better job this year.

A better brother. When I got married, I vowed that my family would come first, all the time. But this should not stop me from caring for my brothers and sister. Sometimes, a “Hello. How are you?” will do.

A better friend. Drop a line. Say Thank You. Greet Happy Birthday.

A better worker. It has been 10 years since I started in UNICEF. I can still share more with UNICEF or other organizations.

A better person. When things went awry last year, I honestly did not know how I would survive. But I am still here. Scarred but still hopeful that I will look back at 2010 with better memories.

Sniff and snuffles for New Year

Heaven greeted the New Year coughing and grunting. On December 31, he had a fever that went on and off. On the third day, we were so worried that we rushed him to the hospital. The ER was filled with infants and children, sniffing, coughing, and wailing. Heaven was just too sick to throw a tantrum. But wail he did when he had a chest x-ray and when blood was extracted to run some tests. After three long hours, we just had to hear it from the doctor --- mild pneumonia.

We wanted to have Heaven confined but his other vital signs were okay. We were just advised to do home treatment. So we went home, checked Heaven’s temperature from time to time, and devised all means possible to trick Heaven into taking his sticky, bitter antibiotics meds. Not that Heaven was difficult when it comes to taking medicines. We’ve had no problem sticking medicine droppers into his mouth before.

And so that was how we spent the long vacation --- sleep-deprived and worried to the hilt. We took Heaven to his pedia twice this week. He has now recovered but still needs to catch up on his diet. He lost almost two kilograms after just five days of cough, colds, and fever.

Pneumonia in children may either be bacterial or viral. Heaven’s pedia suspects his is of the viral strain --- less severe but if unchecked may render the child susceptible to the bacterial form.

But we still wonder up to now --- how did Heaven get it? He had completed his vaccines and is still breastfed to this day. Was it at the Christmas parties we attended during the season? Was it from one of us? Was it because Heaven was everywhere, sticking his hands on God-knows-what surfaces?

However and wherever, we just reminded ourselves and Heaven’s nanny: as early as now, get Heaven in the habit of handwashing. After all as the kindergarten song goes: Clean little hands are good to see.

Home again

My family and I moved back to our home a few days before Christmas. Home is actually the Aunario’s house in Marikina. Mommy Lily and Daddy Cesar built this bungalow in 1978. After Daddy passed away in 2007, Aires and I moved in to be with Mommy.

To Aires, Heaven and me, this house is now our home. This is where Heaven came to be. We were planning to build our own nest somewhere else when Ondoy left us homeless. To others, this was a pretty good reason to move out. But Aires and I decided to renovate the house and save what’s left of its memories.

After three months of renovation, the house now looks more spacious. Heaven enjoys walking from one nook to another. His favourite spot is either the first step of the two-rung staircase (or what’s left of the former staircase) or a corner storage box. He also loves closing doors and opening cabinets. He hides behind the curtains and plays peek-a-boo with anyone who bothers. He, thankfully, has the wits and restraint not to pull stuff out of console tables.

Our threesome still sleeps in the living room because our bedroom is still full of stuff that needs a lot of organizing. But we vow to make it to our bedroom before January ends. We also plan to have a small landscaped garden in the front yard and a laundry area at the side porch. These small projects will keep us busy for a good part of the year.

Here’s hoping that there is no second coming for Ondoy this year and for the rest of our lives.